When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
