i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
