the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
