he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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