bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
