next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
