Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
