another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
