An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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