Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
