I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
