why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
