just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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