He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
