My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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