you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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