Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
