I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
