"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
