I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
