I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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