yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
