The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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