Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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