the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
