If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
