Already got asked if we're dating
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
