Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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