You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
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I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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