Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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