I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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