ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
