it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
