Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
