The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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