whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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