Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im part way to drunk.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
