tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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