her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
