I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
