i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
