exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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