you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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