Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
