Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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