we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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