i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my poor anus
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
