I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're too hungover to prance.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
