so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
