WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize