Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
