Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you will always have a special place in my vag
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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