I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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