your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hippo gnu deer
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
