Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
