she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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