Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
