So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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