'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
