Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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