I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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