He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize