I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
